A dry vagina is nothing to be ashamed of.


“Make it a party again”

Many menopausal women suffer from a dry vagina. “Making love can hurt,” says Eveline Bakker, chair of the Vuurvrouw Foundation, an organization for women in the menopause.
By Petra Lageman
“That is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. During the menopause, the hormone level changes, which has consequences for the vagina, vulva and mucous membranes, among other things. The skin becomes thinner and more vulnerable, both externally and internally, so that you get cracks and infections more quickly because the vagina becomes drier. It's harder to get aroused, harder to come, and having sex can hurt and make you less interested in sex; a vicious circle. But for lovemaking, 'use it or lose it' applies. By making love, you stimulate the vagina, which improves blood flow. If you stop having sex, the desire to have sex also disappears and that can have major consequences for your sex and love life.”
Biological cause
If women no longer feel like having sex or become insecure, they often feel 'less of a woman'. “We hear many women say: 'Never mind, I don't need it anymore.' They give up, as it were. That can't be the case, can it? Making love is a valuable part of your life and of your relationship. What could be more beautiful than enjoying love and sex together?”

“Use it or lose it”

Talk to your partner
Talking to your partner about your likes and dislikes and what blocks you or makes you cum is important at every stage of your sex life. “If you're not used to that, you'll really have to learn it now,” says Bakker. “You can ask for understanding for the fact that your body is changing. It happens to every woman. There is a small group of women who become more interested in sex during the menopause. They feel completely free to enjoy themselves and have no physical complaints in this area. However, a much larger proportion of women in and after the menopause do have problems and it is high time that more attention was paid to this.”
Lasting change
As soon as a new hormonal balance has been established, many menopausal complaints disappear after the menopause. Unfortunately, that is not the case with the change of the vagina, vulva and mucous membranes. “Complaints of a dry vagina do not go away on their own,” says Bakker. “But you can definitely do something about it.”
Look for solutions
There are options to fix the problems. “You have to make it a party again,” Bakker advises. “Get to know your body better and see, with or without your partner, what you do like. Try to get rid of that fear of pain by, for example, choosing other ways to make love to each other. It is important that your vagina becomes moist and supple again. There are excellent ways and means for that.”
“Be practical”, Bakker advises. “If your vagina is dry, get it moist again. This can be done by, for example, spit, but that often only helps for a short time. It is much easier to use products that have been specially developed for this purpose, such as lubricants.” It is important to choose quality. “Water-based remedies often absorb quickly, so you don't enjoy them for as long. And be careful with fragrances and flavors, they can easily irritate an already dry and fragile vagina and can even lead to infections. That's not what you're waiting for. Good and pure silicone-based products have, I hear from many women, an excellent and long-lasting effect and do not irritate at all.”
No home-garden-and-kitchen remedies
“In any case, don't choose to do it yourself”, warns Bakker. “Massage oil is fine for massaging and it can be very erotic and exciting, but it's not a product for the intimate areas. If in doubt, ask your doctor, or on a forum such as www.vuurvrouw.nu, what good products are. And if you continue to suffer from pain and/or other complaints, go back to your GP and ask for a referral to a gynaecologist.”
“Talk about it with your partner and look for solutions together to make lovemaking fun again”
“Don't mess around with home-garden-and-kitchen remedies yourself”
“A dry vagina has a biological cause and does not go away on its own”